Love is Confusing
This Tuesday I decided to go to the Zen Meditation class, especially since it was raining outside and I needed to calm down in my “happy place”. In my “happy place”, I can take my mind off reality and think about anything that I want to believe in. During meditation, I took my mind off reality and brought my mind to the topic of love. I thought about this because during my English class my professor brought up a good point: “How do you know if you love someone or have a crush?” This confusion relates to the confusion of the love triangle in William Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.
William Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night deals with a love triangle and confusion between character identities. The main character in the play, Viola, changes her identity to a male character, Cesario. Later on in the play, Viola, still disguised as Cesario, falls “in love” with Orsino, a nobleman. Orsino is in love with Olivia, but the problem is that Olivia is not interested in Orsino. Olivia is in love with Cesario, which is really Viola. Viola loves Orsino and would do anything for him. However, Orsino does not know that Viola exists. Viola decides to stay in character as Cesario and bring the message of his love to Olivia so that she would still be able to talk to him. Although the point of the message was for Olivia to fall in love with Orsino, she begins to fall in love with “Cesario’s” personality instead, not knowing that she is really talking to Viola. This crazy love triangle is affecting everyone’s feelings for each other. Each of these characters sees the others’ inner beauty, which is the common definition or aspect of “love.” Malvolio, on the other hand, only wants to marry Olivia because of how beautiful, powerful and wealthy she is. He only cares about what is on the surface, which is not what true love is about. What truly matters is the inner beauty of a person, which Olivia understands because she has fallen in love with Cesario, who is really a girl.
Love is a very confusing topic to try to understand and can really make your mind travel in all different directions. The problem is, there is no correct answer to the question of what love is. During my meditation, I was in my “happy place.” I was thinking about love because it crossed my mind a hundred times. Meditation taught me that you cannot buy or look for love. Love is very challenging and no one can understand it; it is very hard to explain. Love is a feeling that two people have for each other that makes them feel like the other person is their missing half that they need to survive. When you are in love, adrenaline is supposed to rush through your veins, your heart is supposed to pound a hundred times per minute, and you are supposed to smile and be happy all the time. You are supposed to feel that you would do anything for this person because you love everything about them. Love is not supposed to be materialistic, and that is where people get confused. Materialistic relationships or feelings are not love, they are just a crush.
This semester as I walked into English, I was very nervous and I believe that I was going to have a heart attack because we had to speak during class. I was so nervous at first, until my professor spoke to me with such wise words that I will never forget, “we've all been given a voice for a reason; use it.” Ever since that day I felt very confident and enjoyed speaking and discussing the novels we read for class. The two most interesting moments that I will always remember about this class are the museum Museum Trip and Office Hours. The Museum Trip was an experience I will never forget, especially taking the bus, exploring the Inner Harbor, and admiring the amazing masterpieces in the museum. Another moment is the Office Hour I spent with Dr. Ellis. I walked in very nervous in her office feeling like I was burdening her by asking for her help. However, when she saw me, she seemed happy to see me and welcomed me into her office. She took her time with each of my essays and told me how to improve each paragraph to enhance my writing skills. Since taking English with Dr. Ellis, I have looked at the subject differently than I used to. I used to see English class as just reading novels and being tested on what I read. Because of Dr. Ellis, I have gained a totally different perspective; she helps her students understand the meaning of all the stories, poems, and novels we read in class by having us relate them our own personal lives. After this class, I started to enjoy reading and writing my own poems more than I ever have before.