Tuesday, October 23, 2012

iExamen #2

Examining My Kindness, Trueness, and Usefulness
When starting my day of being kind, useful and true. I thought to myself, I am always kind and tell the truth this day is going to be easy and unlike no other day of the week. I chose Tuesday October 22nd to practice these ways of life. I woke up for my first class, which was at eight am. I thought right away I do not feel like going to this class. But then I remembered I needed to be useful and stick to my goal. This class was Introduction to Communications. We had to work on a group project where I really tried to get my group going and be useful with the time we had. I felt I helped the group and we were able to finish our project. After this class I went on with my day going to the gym and seeing friends until our Literature class in the afternoon. I found myself saying things to my friends that were not so “kind”.
I am a very sarcastic person and I try to take things lightly in life. When I am texting my friends I always joke around and am usually always making a sarcastic comment. During the day I realized that my comments could come off as being rude and not kind. My one friend who I texted saying she was annoying for not wanting to get coffee with me was a little taken back. I immediately said, “I was kidding, come on!” I am so used to being sarcastic and didn’t realize my words in a text could be taken the wrong way. It’s almost as if the person interprets the text in the way they think or want, when most of the intended meaning is the exact opposite of what they think. My verbal communication was the same. My friends and I are always talking to one another and telling each other what is going on in different people’s lives. When we were catching up I realized that some of the things my friends were saying could be distorted and not true. I remembered my goal for the day and took no part in the conversation. Some of my friends said, “Are you okay?” simply because I had no comment on the conversation. Of course I was okay! I just did not want to say anything that would be taken as not kind or true. I felt that acting in this way hindered me a bit.
I felt as if I couldn’t be myself. I am so sarcastic and love to just joke around and I felt I couldn’t be myself because I was worried I would say something that someone would take the wrong way. I began to think well what exactly does is mean to be kind, true and useful? When I told my Mom about the assignment of course being my Mom she said, “Honey you are ALWAYS kind.” Yes Mom I know thanks for the heads up. Obviously your own Mom isn’t going to tell you that you are a bad person, but I agreed. Thinking exactly that, I’m always trying to be useful and true and kind. During the day I did find myself helping others with work or seeing if anyone needed a ride to go get lunch somewhere. I became aware that I do really want to help people as much as I can. One thing I realized was that I am not willing to share my work with anyone. I am true to who I am by keeping my work to myself. I try to help someone myself instead of just giving them the answer. I did gain knowledge about myself from this observational day.
During this day I realized that I do try to be kind and never want to hurt anyone’s feelings. If I do this, it is by default and I was in no way serious in the remark that I may have made. I also realized that I became so careful of what I was saying and people realized I was acing a bit different since I usually speak my mind. Also to no surprise my Mom reassured me that I am kind. I hope my Mom thinks I am kind if not we would have had a BIG problem. Overall, I did become aware of myself more and the kind of spirit I endure.  

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